Whose Business are you in?
A recent loss of a dear fellow traveller on my soul journey forced me to relook at my life and relationships. Unfortunately it is only when we are hit by a tragedy do we wake up to what is important for us and then life happens and we go back to “sleep living”. Living without actually being awake.
What is Actual living?
To me it is valuing every moment that is happening, nurturing it, being present and available for it. Actually being PRESENT in that moment. Whether it is doing the dishes or making a presentation. Hugging a friend or listening to your child complain.Feeling the breeze on your face or noticing the tears in a friend's eyes.
I feel we have gotten so used to noticing what is missing from our life that we fail to observe what we have right now.We get so busy proving that we are SOMEBODY whether it is by our wealth, power, connections or achievements. As long as our thoughts and actions are driven by external factors we are missing LIFE. When we know what we want and consciously move towards that along with like minded people/friends it is easier to stay grounded and not get caught up in what is not relevant for us. These are the people who lift us up when you feel lost and if we don’t have that then we absolutely need to find our tribe.
What about pain, failure or disappointment?
That is bound to happen, we just have to accept that. Not everything will go your way all the time. I believe pain is essential to grow because it forces us to reinvent ourselves.I like you have suffered countless failures and disappointments, betrayals, and traumas. When I look back and reflect these were the very moments when I would first drown in my misery, even stay there for sometime, feel like the whole world has come crashing down and then somehow find courage to gather myself and find a way to move on.Now I understand that every painful experience is there to help me grow. It specifically came into my life at that moment because it was my time to “Level Up”.
One thing that has helped me tremendously and it is not my original thought. I read it somewhere and it stuck with me. This philosophy has helped me sustain through the hardest of times. It goes like this,
There are three kind of businesses
1. My Business: My thoughts, feelings, and actions are totally my business. Every emotion I feel I’m justified to feel. I don’t have to feel guilty about it, however it should not harm or touch anyone else’s life. If I am sad, mad, jealous, angry, humiliated or anything else, I am entitled to feel that way. Only when I acknowledge these feelings can I work through them.
2. Your Business: Whatever you think about me is completely your business, i have nothing to do with it. You are interpreting my actions through your lens, your experiences, your values, your conditioning. All of that has nothing to do with me. (So if you are constantly finding negatives in my business maybe it's time to look within)
3. God’s Business: This one took the longest time for me to understand and accept.
There are so many things happening in this world that make no sense at all. Rapes, murders, gun violence, natural calamities, this pandemic and so much more. A lot of these are created by us. But we have not directly contributed to them. You see or read the news and are heartbroken at the state of the world. But losing hope and heart is not helping anyone. Talking about it only magnifies it and makes us sadder.So I decided that anytime something that has happened in the world hurts me. I ask myself, “what can I do about this? Can I make a difference in any way? (volunteer, donate, raise awareness) If I can, I do and if I cannot then I accept it as God’s business and focus on the things that I CAN do to make a difference.
So my dear friend, I encourage you to Awaken to the life you are meant to live and not waste your finite time living the life “others” expect you to live. Be present in every moment 100%. Know clearly about what you want and most importantly—
mind your own business :)
❤️🦋 Love Always
Anu Desai
