Religion Spirituality and Me
I feel we all are a beautiful and rich amalgamation of our thoughts, beliefs and experiences, today I want to explore the role of religion and spirituality in shaping who we are.
I was fortunate to grow up in an environment that had a beautiful blend of religious practices and spiritual curiosity.
My Mom chose the path of exploring our Hindu scriptures, Ved, Puran, Geeta, Mahabharat, Ramayan. Almost every week we hosted some prayers, Havan, Satsang, Keertan or meditation sessions. Exposing me to the ritualistic aspect of our religion, she being a Sanskrit scholar helped us interpret and understand a lot of our prayers (shloka) that one would just repeat verbatim otherwise.
Navratri, Shivratri, Diwali, Holi, Baisakhi, Janamashtmi, Poornmashi, Rakshabandhan, Bhai Dooj, Shradh and so many other celebrations were done with full fervor.
She wasn’t strict about “how” they should be done but rather focused on the “why” they are done.
And I thank her for that. Honestly though at that time it felt too ritualist and I couldn't understand the logic behind it, now I do. My mom has always had a lot of curiosity and enthusiasm to understand and sometimes even confront the essence behind everything. She chose to understand the Gayatri Mantra in depth, staying at the Gayatri Ashram in Haridwar and learning and experiencing the impact this powerful mantra can have.
She would stay at Chandimandir for days to participate in all aspects of the Pooja and experience the effects on herself. There are so many other similar examples I can think of but the crux is that she could never be a passive receiver rather chose to be an active participant full of enthusiasm and curiosity towards everything she learnt and continues to learn.
My Dad supported my Mom in her beliefs but chose a different path for himself, he would read, meditate, meet scholars and religious leaders and engage in spirited conversations about God, creation of this universe, purpose of our life, Moksha, reincarnation, he was influenced by Ramakrishna Paramhansa, JD Krishnamurthi, Osho, Yogananda he too read Ved and Puran and Srimad Bhagwat Geeta and I would often hear my parents deep in conversation about their views.
My Dad had a big fan following, young seekers would flock to our home for guidance and advice from him as they began their own spiritual journey or if they were stuck at some point and needed a nudge. As a young kid I absorbed all that wisdom through osmosis.
For that I am deeply grateful to my father.
He encouraged me to open my mind and view the world with a spiritual curiosity. He was my anchor, my go to, my fountain of wisdom that I could drink from anytime I was thirsty. He provided me with an endless supply of knowledge, books, experiences that kept me going. When he passed away in 2015, I was left anchor less but his last gift to me was the best one, he introduced me to my Guru. More about that later.
My favorite memory with my father is, waking him up at 3:30 in the morning after I had just finished reading “Fountainhead -Ayn Rand” in a binge reading session that had lasted 2 days! I was filled with ideas, my head was bursting with thoughts, every cell of my body was alive with new knowledge that I had to voice to make it real, I was 14 I think, and my Dad without question just followed me to our garden where I talked for almost 2 hours, oblivious to when the darkness turned to light and the sun came out, the birds started chirping and the morning sounds of the dhoodhwala, sweepers cleaning the roads, jamadaars collecting the trash from the previous day enveloped the neighborhood. He just listened and smiled, his eyes twinkling, reflecting my enthusiasm. He did not try to add or take away from any of my thoughts, he just listened. What a precious gift he gave me that day. I miss him and his wisdom everyday but also know that it’s “Till we meet again” with him.
Like every family, we had a multitude of storms raging almost my entire childhood. My eldest brother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia after a bad accident where he sustained serious head injuries, financial struggles, extended family issues, and some other traumas that made me question humanity and existence of God itself. Looking back I understand that those very storms were what pushed me to investigate spirituality and religion in the first place. It’s only when you feel helpless and nothing seems to be in your control that you seek harder. It's the storms that create chaos and destruction but also clean everything out so that new life can begin. I am grateful for all those storms, it was tough when we were going through them but now I can look back and see how they helped me understand the workings of this world- MAYA.
Another factor, although not a direct one but I like to humor myself by thinking that genetics definitely has a part in how we evolve is “ Papaji” or “Poonjaji” or “HWL Poonjaji” . He was my mothers maternal Uncle (her Mom’s brother). If you google his name, you will find out a plethora of information. He stayed with Ramana Maharishi and attained illumination. Many books have been written about him and I was pleasantly surprised to see them in our own Naperville Public Library in the United States.
Some of his books
Wake Up and Roar: Satsang With H. W. L. Poonja (two volumes), edited by Eli Jaxon-Bear
The Fire of Freedom: Satsang with Papaji by David Godman, published by Avadhuta Foundation
The Simplest Way by Madhulkar Editions India, 2nd edition, USA & India 2006 (contains Interview with H. W. L. Poonja)
My great grandmother (maternal) was Swami Ram Tirtha’s sister.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rama_Tirtha Swami Rama Tirtha also known as Ram Soami, was an Indian teacher of the Hindu philosophy of Vedanta.He was among the first notable teachers of Hinduism to lecture in the United States traveling there in 1902, preceded by Swami Vivekananda in 1893 and followed by Parmahansa Yogananda in 1920. During his American tours Swami Rama Tirtha spoke frequently on the concept of 'practical Vedanta And education of Indian youth.He proposed bringing young Indians to American universities and helped establish scholarships for Indian students.
I feel blessed to be a part of this lineage and I’m forever indebted to my ancestors. Even if an ounce of their wisdom has penetrated my being I am grateful to them.
Today I feel,
I have a treasure trove of guidance and wisdom within me
that is waiting to be unwrapped and experienced, it’s all within reach.Each day I open a layer a little bit more and am dazzled by what I experience. I know a day is coming when I will step into complete silence but before that I want to chronicle my journey to silence within.
……..to be continued
Love always,
Anu ❤️🦋
